My thoughts are always a muddled mess in my head. I never can understand what I’m thinking… lots of emotions, feelings, but never thoroughly articulated thoughts that I can express with ease. And I have a habit of putting myself in tough spots, for I am always thinking about stuff far too deep for my own good. I’m always questioning things, and most of the time, I cannot come up with a remotely satisfying answer.

Perhaps a life of contemplation would suit me well. Sitting atop a rock somewhere at the edge of a cliff, legs twisted like a pretzel, eyes closed, mind hypnotised by the soothing sounds of nature’s symphony. Meditation… where one can fully connect with one’s thoughts and words become unnecessary.

But never mind that. For now, I’m still stuck with muddled thoughts.

Anyways, Avatar was one of those moments that caused me to lock myself in silent contemplation. The moment the movie ended, I was already trying to pinpoint the reason why the movie made me feel the way I did. Why the movie was so special to me.

I can’t satisfy you with a proper answer, but I will say what I said to Sal (who was with me the whole time I played the silent companion, poor soul) – “It was… a personal experience.”

I think all of us has had an experience like this at least once in our lives. You know, that special experience where you connect with something on such a personal level, that it makes your soul ache? That one experience which you keep in a secret corner of your heart, unwilling to share it with anybody, because you know that only you can understand how special it is, and another person’s interpretation would only taint its memory? THAT one. That rapturous, cosmic explosion of spiritual chemistry that binds an irreversible bond between you and and that special something.

And I’ve been lucky to have my fair share of special somethings. The reasons for each may differ, but the experience remains the same. I love a lot of things, but only a handful of them I love with unreserved passion.

Avatar’s just the latest one. I can’t remember most of the things that gave me personal experiences, but the ones I do remember I cherish with all my heart. It may surprise you that Battlestar Galactica and Firefly isn’t part of the list, as much as I love them. But it probably won’t surprise you that Band of Brothers is. In fact, it tops it.

And here is the reason why I wrote this post in the first place – Band of Brothers. Or rather, its sequel. It’s called “The Pacific”, due for release in March 2010. Just like its predecessor, it has a cast of unknowns, a fact that I am very, very happy about. But I am happier knowing that my next personal experience is just around the corner. What’s a few months for something that you only experience once or twice every couple of years, right? I can’t wait.